“I am the wilderness” Brene Brown
After a year that felt like one experienced every feeling and left discombobulated and exhausted the need to exhale deeply is essential.
For myself this meant I packed my car with the basic essentials for a month long road trip, with only a few places on my itinerary, the rest was designed to dream up the next step, especially as life is so organised. I needed to immerse myself in the arms of the wilderness, her soft moss, her deep silence, her morning dew, delicate sounds and the gentle rhythm of her deep exhaling. Whether it was at the mercy of a wild harbour or being caressed by the meandering flow of the Gordon River, the power of a waterfall, water soothed my soul, called me home. The sound of the wind in the trees, the night sounds whilst cocooned in a tent comforted me where nothing else could. The pull to silence at sunrise and sunset was beyond a spiritual experience it was home. The humbling of the magnificent mountains, the coming home to the silence within. Some called it brave, I call it necessary.
Over the weeks I have been humbled back into basic necessities, discovering a new sense of collected creativity rather than a myriad of ideas in my head at the same time, a quietened mind, and little attachment to the comings and goings of thoughts. I discovered vulnerabilities, old griefs, truths previously denied and compassion towards these, a yearning that always brings one home when not ignored and a belonging words fail to encapsulate. Toko-pa Turner refines it as “remembering ourselves home”
Brene Brown proposes true belonging “is built on a foundation of tension and paradoxes. True belonging is a spiritual practice of leaning in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you share your most authentic self with the world and find a sacredness of being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging does not require that you change who you are, it requires you to be who you are”.
Braving the wilderness does not mean losing oneself in the Tasmanian landscape, although I do highly recommend it as we so desperately need to exhale deeply. It is being authentic, cultivating an internal belonging that can be described more as a spiritual practice. This belonging becomes one’s internal navigation system in the wilderness of life. Navigating the wilderness is daring to do it differently, , to step into life open heartedly not knowing what adventure will arise but with an authenticity and a sense of trusting one’s internal navigation system, one’s wild heart.
Stepping into the wilderness of life, into your authenticity takes courage and not getting lost in trying to belong to others. As Brene Brown describes “One way of strengthening our courage muscle is learning how to put braving into practice. That work looks like this:
- Boundaries: Learning to set, hold and respect boundaries. The challenge is letting go of being liked and the fear of disappointing people.
- Reliability: Learning to say what we mean and mean what we say. The challenge is not overcommitting and overpromising to please others to prove ourselves.
- Accountability: Learning how to step be accountable, take responsibility and issue meaningful apologies when we are wrong. Challenge is letting of blame and staying out of shame.
- Vault: Learning how to keep confidences and learning what ours is to share and what is not. The challenge is to stop using gossip, common enemy intimacy and oversharing to hot wire connection
- Integrity: Learn how to practice our values even when it’s uncomfortable and hard. The challenge is choosing courage to over comfort in those moments.
- Nonjudgement: Learn how to give and receive help. The challenge is letting go of “helper and fixer” as our identity and of our self-worth.
- Generosity: Learn how to set boundaries that allow us to be generous in our assumptions about others. The challenge is being honest and clear with others about what’s okay and not okay.”
Over three decades of wild adventures and the unchartered waters of a Holistic Counselling business, I have learned the way navigating new terrain is that “a wild heart is only earned in the wilderness”. When I live the pull in my heart, when I listen to its call and devote myself to that depth of its yearning, the depth of being, living it fully, then joy and satisfaction gained outweighs the uncomfortable challenges.
“There will be times when standing alone feels too hard, too scary, and we’ll doubt our ability to make our way through the uncertainty. Someone, somewhere, will say “Don’t do it. You don’t have what it takes to survive the wilderness”. This is when you reach deep into your wild heart and remind yourself, I am the wilderness” Brene Brown
To hold the tension with the spirit of the wilderness does not mean it is always easy or comfortable. At times you will flounder, feel lost, struggle with the weight of the pull to do it differently. But what makes living in the wilderness possible is the courage to follow the call, inner resources to strengthen you and a wild open heart.
“The mark of a wild heart is living out the paradox of love in our lives. It’s the ability to be tough and tender, excited and scared, brave and afraid — all in the same moment. It’s showing up in our vulnerability and our courage, being both fierce and kind.” Brene Brown
So wild heart what calls you?
Bibliography
Brown, Brene. (2017). Braving the wilderness: the quest for true belonging and the courage to stand alone. New York: Random House
Turner, Toko-pa (2017) Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home. Her Own Room Press
